Telephone call, with-held number, but I decide to answer it, after all it is Sunday and the telesales bores tend to not work today. The conversation went thus (slightly abbreviated):
Caller (C): Hi is that Bellaugello.
Me (B): Yes, Bellaugello Gay Guest House.
C: Pronto pronto mi senti? I can’t hear you very well I will call you on Skype.
B: Perfect, I wait to hear from you on Skype.
Now type chat;
C: My partner and I will be celebrating 15 years together this summer and I am thinking of treating him to a stay with you. Before booking I have a few questions to ask…
B: Sure ask away.
C: Have you chosen your staff for this summer?
B: (thinking odd first question, actually odd question to ask at all) Yes.
C: Are they well hung?
B: (slightly bored, knowing what is coming, tongue in cheek so time worn reply) They are hung like elephants. (thinking ‘it’s a prerequisite of the job, make all the guests feel very inadequate zzzzz.)
C: and will they be up to having a bit of fun with us?
B: (getting disinterested and feeling I should be more professional) hahaha… Bellaugello is not a bordello it is a luxury agriturismo, we require a high degree of professionalism from our team, and job interviews are always held with the candidate fully clothed.
C: What a bore. I want to gift a ‘special’ massage to my husband.
B: Are you by any chance referring to a ‘happy ending’?
C: An intimate massage
B: (bored again now being a bit wicked) Are you expecting the masseur to be naked?
C: Ok I supposed we will accept a ‘normal’ massage but hope the masseur will be naked.
B: And if it is a pre-requisite for Bellaugello to ask anyone wishing to stay to submit a full frontal photo of themselves naked, (At times like these I seriously think of adding this requirement to the booking process 😉 ) would you feel this was a reasonable question for a hotel director to ask?
Huge smile on my face now waiting to receivethe next message continuing the subject… Buona domenica a tutti!